is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
