Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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