It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
