Define "chronic" masturbator.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
