is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
