similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
