So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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