drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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