This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
