I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
