I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
