I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
