@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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