I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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