ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize