dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
