my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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