I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
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