So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
