I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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