ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
