You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
