So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I AM VODKA MAN
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
