woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
