so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
