my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
