Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
