i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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