I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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