Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
