my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
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