She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
