There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
