you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
