Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
