Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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