Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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