sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
