Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
