$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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