Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
