That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
