I will die if light touches me.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
