Me. At least after what I've been through.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
