oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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