LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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