Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Redeem this text for a blowjob
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
