Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
