I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
