I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
So many bounce houses so little time
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
