I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
im on a boat
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